About Me and my Past
I guess it all started when I use to live with my biological mother, I used to live with- Get ready... 11 sisters. I was the only boy, And also the oldest. Because of this I was rejected, Thrown aside and abused. But during my time living, My sisters got all the attention. I used to sit there watching them having there diaper changed and sitting in the corner wishing I was someone, Not just an echo in the room. So I used to sneak off at night time at the age of about 11-12 and steal my sisters nappies. As you can imagine I have 11 sisters and I was only 11, The age varied from 3 months -10 years old. I used to wear them over night. It was comfort, It gave me sanity, I felt wanted and like a baby who needs attention. During these 11 years my dad was fighting for the right to take me away from this horrible place. I remember him saying to me last year, When I was 18. That when I was born, And that I was not planned he had me in his arms and looked over Preston. And he promised to me to never let anything to happen to me and to make sure I grow up and to have the best life he could possibly give me. I will admit, It was hard, I never really had the mother he said I deserved, But he brought me up, We stood together through hell and back. And I do not wish I could change it. I have learnt to appreciate everything I get, And to keep my friends very close to me. This might not feel like im explaining why I am a AB/DL. But I have never had a mummy, I do not what it feels like to cuddle up in your mothers arms and just cry. I have had to stay strong and show my dad I am brave. Being an AB/DL lets opens a window, To have a mummy maybe one day. And to find the perfect princess and all the friends I could never have. On top of this I love the feel of diapers, There so comfy, Bulky and soft. And I never need to worry about not making it to the toilet ( I never, ever and, never ever want to consider or have done in the past, Gone "Number 2" That is not a good sensation at all )
Another reason is a medical reason, I have the bladder of a three year old. Litually I cannot hold it longer than 5 minutes, I go twice as much as my friends and twice as quick. I think this enhances my AB/DL, I like to feel when I can't hold it in and I accidentally go, I guess I expect the "Awwh poor baby" reaction. You may think this isn't much of a problem, But put me in a car full of friends and I really have to go... Or im shopping, How do you explain the need to carry a rucksack around and that they can never look inside. It is hard.
What i'm writing I feel is very personal and emotional. It has taken me 19 years to understand what life I have had. Being young you do not know better, You do not think about other peoples actions as much as you do at a mature age. One day I was looking at the ceiling. That night my life changed so much. Within that 5 hours of staring at the ceiling I was crying, Laughing doubting and just sitting confused. I felt lost. I had flashbacks of my life, How it was. How it could have been. You may think I have depression issues reading this but I actually do not. I had my sad days like every other person. But I just require more love, a hug, a sweet kiss goodnight is the best medicine. But I feel if you really want to know me. I may as well explain some of it. Now I have talked about me I think its time to move on. The rest of my blog will be from my 2 year old self. And not so much as a perspective of my real age
Another reason is a medical reason, I have the bladder of a three year old. Litually I cannot hold it longer than 5 minutes, I go twice as much as my friends and twice as quick. I think this enhances my AB/DL, I like to feel when I can't hold it in and I accidentally go, I guess I expect the "Awwh poor baby" reaction. You may think this isn't much of a problem, But put me in a car full of friends and I really have to go... Or im shopping, How do you explain the need to carry a rucksack around and that they can never look inside. It is hard.
What i'm writing I feel is very personal and emotional. It has taken me 19 years to understand what life I have had. Being young you do not know better, You do not think about other peoples actions as much as you do at a mature age. One day I was looking at the ceiling. That night my life changed so much. Within that 5 hours of staring at the ceiling I was crying, Laughing doubting and just sitting confused. I felt lost. I had flashbacks of my life, How it was. How it could have been. You may think I have depression issues reading this but I actually do not. I had my sad days like every other person. But I just require more love, a hug, a sweet kiss goodnight is the best medicine. But I feel if you really want to know me. I may as well explain some of it. Now I have talked about me I think its time to move on. The rest of my blog will be from my 2 year old self. And not so much as a perspective of my real age